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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Where do they come from... I see flaming on these boards but at least most people are willing to learn the terminology and aquire a basic understanding of the firearms... we as a whole are mental giants!!!!
Now I work in a motorcycle shop and over the last 20 years I have heard the following statements...
Please feel free to add your own....
Maan I beez needin a pipe fo my zx9 neanja, I wanna d&d an its gotta be chrome you know!!! I don't care if its stainless or luminum or TITANIC!!!

Actual phone call: I need a drain plug fer my WWYYY ZEEEE??
Sir we don't have yamaha, do you know if the plug is 12mmX1.25 or 14mm, as I have no way of telling... Silence..... Weeelll eets baut lack dat.... silence.... Aww you know baut lack at....( I swear my I.Q. was lowered by that one) :goof:


I have many more but I want to hear some from you guys :grin:
 

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A couple of years ago, I went out to a club with a few people. Clubbing is not my gig at all. Can't hear a thing in those places, I can't dance, and everyone is way younger than me. So, I was a bit bored, when a woman comes up to talk to me. After a bit of chit-chat, she asked me what I do for a living. I told her that I study ectoplasmic residue (Ghostbusters reference, for those that don't remember the 80's). I expected laughter, or at least a smile. Instead, she looked at me in surprise and said "Wow, that's like microbiology!"

Heraing this, my buddy accidentially inhaled his beer. :smile:
 

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I own an auto repair shop, been in the biz for 26 years. The first clue is, I was wondering how much it would be to......... My answer is, hold the phone up to the car.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Dutchkma said:
I own an auto repair shop, been in the biz for 26 years. The first clue is, I was wondering how much it would be to......... My answer is, hold the phone up to the car.
I get this at least once a week :lol:

Many years ago a kid called and wanted to know how to fix a fouled spark plug in his skoota.... My buddy took the call and told him to have his buddy blow on the tailpipe to clean the plug while he was kicking it....
:eek:
 

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I met plenty of geniuses working in an auto parts store. "Gotta a full size 350 Chevy." *beaming pride* "Need a _____."

"What year and model is the vehicle?"

"That don't matter! It's a 350!"

It don't [sic] matter? :lol:

Those 350 Chevy ******** are the biggest morons on the road. I shudder to think they're doing brake jobs.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Fury_58 said:
I met plenty of geniuses working in an auto parts store. "Gotta a full size 350 Chevy." *beaming pride* "Need a _____."

"What year and model is the vehicle?"

"That don't matter! It's a 350!"

It don't [sic] matter? :lol:

Those 350 Chevy ******** are the biggest morons on the road. I shudder to think they're doing brake jobs.
Maan She's got double hump heads anna 010 block YEAH CM'ON!!!!
Starter is a 3508 or 3510 right???
 

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Had a guy buy an AK74 when I was building for a living. Called and said it wasn't chambering a round. Strange, it test fired just fine. He sends it back. I go over it then head to the range. Put a load 30 through it with no problems at all. Call the guy back and tell him. Strange, he couldn't get it working.

A couple weeks go by and the guy calls again. Starts jumping my ass for lying to him. Dude, it worked fine hear. Send it back. We are paying shipping both ways, mind you. Gun gets here, off to the range. Runs perfectly. Call him back and ask about ammo, he is useing Wolf. I always tested with Wolf. Okay, maybe a hollowpoint problem. No, it ran them, too. Call him back, ship it back.

A week later, the same guy calls raising hell again. He informs me he is a Master Sargent in the Marine Corp. and knows everything there is to know about AK's. Been arounr guns all his life. I am at a loss and offer to replace the rifle. Okay, that made him happy. All the while going through a local smith who documents everything this guy tells him on a work order sheet.

The rifle gets back to the shop a few days later. I open the case and find he inclyded three rounds that he tried to chamber in the rifle. Took the work order to the desk and with a red Sharpie wrote:

USE CORRECT AMMO. 5.45X39, NOT 5.56X45

Called him back and explained the situation and got a "HUH" as a reply. Got his credit card number for shipping the rifle back.

I still laugh about that one!
 

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Speed and I have seen a bunch. My best ones are shown by this example... as a preface, Honda built the CR60R in 1983 and 1984. As expected with a 22 year old race bike, parts are scarce. Not that it mattered here.

By telephone:

(him) "I need a coil for a 89 CR60. Y'all got that in stock?"
(me) "The CR60 wasn't built in '89, sir. If it's an '89 it's probably a CR80. If you can give me the serial number I can..."
(He cuts me off) "Well, dammit, I got one. How much is a coil?"
(me) "I can't exactly look up a coil for that. See, the CR60 was only built in '83 & '84. So, it's either an '89 or it's a CR60, but it can't be both."
(him) "Look, buddy, it's a CR60 and I know damn well it's an 89..."
(me) "Well, then, don't sell it. It's the only one they ever made."
Click.
 

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I'll post a couple more even though they're Speed's... from when he did auto parts:

"I need a radiator hose for a 74 Nova."
"OK, what size engine?"
"250ci six."
"Air?"
"Yes."
"OK, top or bottom hose?"
"I don't know, how do you tell?" :shock:
______________________________________

"I need a set of rings for (whatever year etc) 350 Chevy."
"OK, here you are..." (Customer pays for rings)
"Now, can you tell me how to put them in?" :animak:
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
response

In response to the above I will give you an actual account .... The names have been removed to protect the ignorant.....
Sir? how many mi man hour dis busa iz(customers buddy) Maan caint you see the mi mo nometer says 2 hungret.... And the ar pee emmeter says 13,000 OOOOOEEEEE!!!! Maan you betta get you some leather fo ridin dat, else the pink panther bite yo A$$!!!!! :lol:
PINK PANTHER: When a dark complected person has contact with the pavement removing LARGE patches of epidermis... Upon growing back the epidermis will be pink for a while.... Hence the PINK PANTHA dun bit yo A$$ :lol:
CAT WALKIN SCRATCHETS: When an individual wants to change the gearing on a motorcycle for the purpose of riding it on looooong slow wheelies... :lol:
BOUTA: A condition usually associated with the southern *******.
******* leaves the woods cause his fore wheeler needs new brakes(and he is out of beer and needs to breed with something other than sheep)
Looka here: I need me a set a brakes fer my fore wheeler...
Me: What make and model sir?? (Kinda turning my head to stay away from the stench).. BuBBa: Weelll it's BOUTA 85 and BOUTA two fitty...
Me: Sir I will need to know exactly which model so I can get you the propper brakes the 1st time....
BuBBa: Yer a smarta$$ ain't ya.. Just get me some brakes fer a 85 250 and snap too it they're all the same!!! :twisted:
Me: O.K. sir......
2 hours pass..... Phone rings.... HEY !!! This That long Hair what sold me those brakes!!!
Me: YUP!
BuBBA: Yew got me the wronguns and I am 2 hours away!!!
Me: Sir I would make a guess that they are right for a 1985 250... My worry is that what you are riding isnt a 85 250 :eek: ....
Me: Guess they ARE'NT all the same :twisted:
 
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