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HELL EXPLAINED
>
> BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of
> Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a
> student.
>
>
> The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the
professor
> shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why
> we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
>
>
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
in time. So
> we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
> rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we
> can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
> Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
> Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world
> today.
>
>
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of
> their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
> these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
> religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
> death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
> increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
> volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
> temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
> has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
>
>
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which
> souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
> increase until all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of
> souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
> freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
> year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'
> and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
> number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
> and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
> since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
> more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven,
> thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,
> last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
 
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